When should a woman strikes out on her own? (to make an online presence)

my hubby is like.. dont really think tht own domain.. make money. How do I prove him wrong? I know… I have to ask him.. everything for approval.. coz that wht we respect each got to ask before doing it 1st.

Someone asked me the above. This is going to be an opinionated views from me and not a personal reference to anyone or a reply to the above. I am merely using this scenario.

Four years ago, I wrote a letter to the newspaper and from it started a breastfeeding group. The group gets too hard to manage and hence, the only way out was to get our own domain and setting up a forum. I am lucky I have one of the member’s husband to help me with that. Johannes T. Ejoa. (I wonder if Johannes knows he is one of the person who started my passion for owning domains?) We need money to buy our own domain. I have none because I don’t handle the money side. I don’t have a bank account nor can I write a cheque. I know my husband will not be pleased to hear me spending RM200 over nothing because back then, there is no such thing as advertisement income. It was just a gut instinct in me to go ahead because these bunch of mothers need a group and a site badly for breastfeeding support.

So, one day, I managed to meet Johannes because we have a gathering. I passed him secretly RM200 in cash, money I had in my wallet. My husband was there too but I didn’t tell him. RM200 is nothing to us as a family but it is a lot if it is something I am throwing for nothing. From there, I had started one of the biggest online breastfeeding support group in Malaysia. It is also the beginning of my return to life.

I used to be a very successful working woman because I was already at the top of my career and getting a comfortable pay. Then, I gave it up to focus on my children. With it, I lost some part of my drive and self-esteemed. Getting the group to run gives me back my marvellous organising skill.

So, if you ask me, I will ask you back. Respect is something that comes both way. I know my husband wouldn’t respect my wishes to spend that RM200 just so that I can get a domain for MyMomsBest. He wouldn’t believe I can get anything out of it, I am sure. I don’t feel a point explaining to him because it is not worth arguing over. I will strike out on my own to do many things behind his back. I had bought many websites since then. Right now, I already earned more than RM20K since the day I decided to do something for myself. Right now, I contributed small amount of money I earned to help some young people to get a foothold. If I see a talent, I do not mind chipping in to get them started. Whether it is buying a Flicrk Pro account for a talented young photographer or helping to start a domain. I have the freedom to spend the money I earned now because I do not have to ask my husband over them.

Therefore, for these women who are still bound by their wishes for mutual respect and trust, ask yourself. Do you really need to ask your husband for EVERYTHING? Remember that the amount is not great nor are you getting involve illicitly with other men. I am not advocating being secretive but we need to stand on our feet and follow our gut instinct sometimes. Do you really need to be so open with each other? Seriously.

For me, its my life, my happiness and my self-esteem. I will handle my life whichever way because I am a woman first, wife, second. Read my personal blog – Blog Apocalyse if any woman needs further motivation. Many of us have the skills of writing, use it to the maximum. Blogging is one of the best method for us to be at home with the kids and earning an income.

P/S : My domain at http://mymomsbest.com is having some DNS problem and yeah, don’t ask already. I am losing a lot in advertisement income and my paid posts had been rejected. It will get online when it gets online.

Post Author: lilian

4 thoughts on “When should a woman strikes out on her own? (to make an online presence)


    (April 9, 2007 - 3:58 pm)

    This is a good post Lilian. And strangely I find a lot of men don’t seem to support their wives going online especially when it comes to blogging. It’s just a domain and if you think it’s gonna make a difference to you, just do it. Why must always ask the hubs? For moral support ok…for approval?


    (April 9, 2007 - 5:59 pm)

    It’s so motivational to read this post. ;) My hubby was quite skeptical with me blogging, nevertheless went ahead to get my own domain and started blogging for $$$ 2 months ago… Now that $$ is slowly coming in, I feel great… it’s a boost for a incomeless SAHM :P


    (April 9, 2007 - 11:24 pm)

    That was an inspiring post! Yes, it is quite troublesome when we have to ask somebody else for permission to do something that we want. Frankly, I’m quite sick of asking other people or think what other people will think when I want to set out and do something.

    Sometimes, we have to do things secretly (not illegal ones though!) so that nobody will nag. I don’t like being secretive but I have no other choice. However, I do strive to make whatever I’m doing a success though. If they found out what I’ve been up to, at least I have my success to back me up.


    (April 10, 2007 - 12:29 pm)

    My wife too busy at work to have time to blog :P

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