Secrets newbies should know about writing paid posts

I am in the process of cleaning up some old blogs and feel generous to share with you guys on things they never teach you about writing paid posts. Since this blog is NO longer writing paid posts, I can snub with no fear now. I wouldn’t want all the advertisers to ban me earlier. Remember, this only applies to those cheap, USD5-USD20 posts. Not those where the advertisers pick you out of hundred blogs to review for them and you get three digits.

So, keep this secret of writing paid posts. That is, if you want to be a top earner like me. Heh.

1) If the advertiser asked for one link, GIVE ‘EM ONE FREAKING link! Not a bunch of five with three screenshot, dumbo.

2) Unless they ask you to review their site with their lengthy explanations, just build the keyword conveniently into your regular post. You are not their hired copywriter nor publicist, yo.

3) Don’t waste your time researching and digging and start from the history of the company. You will make your blog post damn boring and your regular readers will run away forever.

4) Don’t take an opp if even you yourself feel ashame to talk about it.

5) Tones don’t always have to be positive. You can rant and diss and make a quick turn and said one sentence of nice things. Like, Though my faith doesn’t allow plastic surgery, who am I to say others shouldn’t go for Beverly Hill LOLLOL if they wish to do so.”

6) Don’t be noob and think the advertisers are going to be in tears due to your overwhelming good post. You are stupiak, that’s all. Usually, if they pay USD5, they don’t even have time to read what masterpiece you churn. And you wasted 30 minutes of your life for nothing.

7) Uphold your blog dignity before anything else.

8) If the advertisers give you threats and carrots like, “If the post is very good, I will give you five tacks, if it is filled with bad English, I may bench you” and they are paying only ten bucks, stay away from such advertisers. If you have a chance, tell them to take their ten bucks and go find a goat to fug. Buy the carrots for the goat, i.e.

9) Writing paid posts are not essay competitions. Get off your moral high horse and get real. Just because your post has better English, it doesn’t mean you are more preferred. You get the same meagres sum of ten or fifteen bucks. With or without screenshots.

10) Paid posts are evil. But then, it is fun when you get paid to rant. I enjoy writing paid posts on some of my blogs about women because I get to diss my friends and get paid five bucks. A five minutes job where I got to de-stress and get paid.

Lastly, don’t work too hard.

And if you feel offended, I cannot help it. I am talking from experiences and the mistakes I made as a paid post blogger when I started writing in October 2006. I compared the posts I wrote then and the kind of craps I dished out now, I think I have grown a lot smarter.